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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Little League Chew

1993

It was almost Halloween time, and the Jays were in the World Series. In Game 1 of the '93 Fall Classic, the camera followed Philadelphia star Lenny Dykstra to first base after he hit safely into the outfield, and I saw him chewing something big and brown. It looked like caramel, but my Dad called it "Chew". I knew he was chewing, but what he was chewing I did not know.

So the next day, I grabbed a few toffees from the candy stash in the pantry and went to school to find my friends. Samir, Ryan, Rakesh and I stood behind the portables to talk about the game, which the Jays won ^_^, and about Lenny Dykstra's candy. We all had the same questions: What is it? Can you buy it at the store? Why doesn't he swallow it?

Finally, I remembered the toffees I took from home, and I pulled them out of my pocket. "Here are some toffees. I think he had a whole bunch in his mouth." I said to the group. "If you have a whole bunch in your mouth, maybe you can chew like that Dykstra guy!" I was the smartest one in the group, so...

We each took four toffees, which we pooled together from our individual candy stashes, and put them in our mouths.

"Make surb you chu Harg!" I gargled as I smacked my lips.
"Whab?" Samir asked.
"I said Chuu Harg!" We were chewing for a good minute, until Rakesh asked, "Okeg, now whaa?"
"Now, we spib!" I remembered Lenny Dykstra got a good, short, spit when he finished chewing, so each of us prepared a good collection of saliva and caramel in our mouths and spit!

Minutes later, we were in Mr. Lee's fifth grade class. When Mr. Lee spotted us at our desks, he turned his head and blinked at the caramel running from our lips, down our chins, and staining our shirts.
"What happened to you?" He asked us.
"Lebby Dykscrab" I answered.

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